Kissing my season of singleness goodbye well into my late twenties is something I never saw coming. Even though I had prayed for my future spouse since I was twelve, I never seriously considered getting sentimentally involved with anyone through high school or college. I loved my singleness way too much to let it go just like that.
Without many healthy situations to look up to, I grew up somewhat distrustful of relationships. Transitioning from “I” to “we” and “me” to “us” was quite a process. A process my now sweet and loving husband patiently walked me through.
Looking back, however, I can see that no matter how sweet, patient, and loving a partner you have, you will never feel comfortable switching from singular to plural until you are ready to do so.
Dealing with society’s pressure
Many unhappy marriages have occurred when giving in to society’s pressures. Being a single, Christian woman over twenty-five is judged far more than it should be, and I will never understand why. “You should get yourself a husband!” “When are you getting married?” “I’m going to fix you up with so and so…” “You are running out of time!” These were just some of the things “well-intentioned” people told me after graduating college without a ring on my finger.
I have a question for non-single people: Why do you judge single people so much?
And here’s a question for single people: Why do you even care?!
No one else besides the two involved will deal with the consequences of a successful or unsuccessful union. It’s your life, your heart, and your decision. Own it. No one else has the right to tell you when, how, or with whom.
Enjoying your singleness
Singleness is a gift. A season of life meant for growth, discovery, and deepening your relationship with God. Before the responsibilities of marriage, I had more freedom for certain things. I had more time and space to explore my passions, serve in ministry, and develop my character. I traveled to other countries, lived among indigenous tribes, invested in long-lasting friendships, and most importantly, dedicated undistracted time to God. I will forever treasure those years in my heart; they were essential in shaping me into the person and spouse I am today.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 speaks about the advantages of singleness in serving the Lord with undivided attention. Marriage is beautiful, but so is singleness. Learning to embrace and enjoy it is key to living a fulfilled life, whether marriage is in your future or not.
Letting God write your love story
One of the most valuable lessons I learned in my season of singleness was surrendering my thoughts and feelings to God. Proverbs 3:5- 6 encourages us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our understanding.
When the time was right, my heart was ready, and I had fully embraced my singleness; God blessed me with a relationship built on faith, trust, and mutual love for Christ.
If you’re single, I encourage you to stop seeing it as a waiting room for marriage. Instead, start embracing it as a season of preparation and joy. Use this time to grow, serve, and discover who you are in Christ. Marriage is a blessing, but so is singleness.
Don’t let society impose a timeline on you. Don’t let fear rush you into something you’re not ready for. Instead, trust in God’s perfect plan, timing, and love. Because, whether single or married, our ultimate fulfillment is found in Him alone.
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