If I could go back in time, the first thing I would tell my teenage self is this: true love does exist, but it looks nothing like the movies. Those butterflies that make you dizzy? They’re not usually, if ever, a good thing. The boy who gives them to you now will often be the same one exhausting your nervous system later.
Anxiety is not chemistry. Intensity is not intimacy. And attraction alone is completely useless.
Respect never needs secrecy
No boy who truly cares for you or respects you will ever be shady with your family or try to go behind your parents’ backs.
Love doesn’t hide, it doesn’t sneak, it definitely doesn’t lurk in the shadows.
If you already know he leads a questionable lifestyle that doesn’t align with your values, step aside, honey. There is no need to entertain those interactions—especially if you find him cute. Trust me.
Good guys are not boring
Let me say this loud and clear: good guys are not boring. They are probably not giving you the same adrenaline rush. But you know what? they are the ones you should be befriending! The authentic ones, the ones inviting you to group activities.
Don’t confuse jerkiness with fun. Don’t confuse emotional unaccountability with depth!
Love never diminishes you
That guy you like who joked that it wouldn’t hurt you to tone your chubby calves?
One day, there will be a man who tells you how crazy your legs make him.
That crush who mocks you for not eating meat? One day, the man who loves you will become a vegetarian—out of his own initiative.
Love does not belittle, it doesn’t mock. It doesn’t feel the need to shrink you or others.
Pay attention to patterns, not apologies
And that reckless boy who shows up tipsy to a church event? Girl… run.
Not because people don’t make mistakes, but because actions and patterns preach louder than promises.
Before you go looking for love
Remember, you don’t need a boy to discover who you are. You don’t need attention to be chosen. And you definitely don’t need a relationship to feel seen.
This season of your life is meant for learning how to be a good friend. And for learning how to recognize one. But most importantly, it’s meant for finding yourself in Jesus.
Before you go looking for love in the first boy you like who likes yoy back, let Jesus be the One who defines you. Let Him love you so deeply that you’re no longer impressed by shallow interest or temporary attention.
Because when you know who you are in Christ, you stop entertaining anything and anyone who drags you down. You stop calling chaos exciting. You stop mistaking attention for affection.
The more rooted you are in Jesus, the less likely you are to go looking for trouble disguised as romance.
So take your time. Grow, learn, laugh. Enjoy this season. Build your faith before you try to build anything else.
Love will come—but identity needs to come first. And when Jesus is your foundation, love won’t confuse you… it will meet you whole.
Remember, physically or emotionally, you are not anyone’s toy to play with. You are : a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”– 1 Peter 2:9
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