In my twenties, career and adventure were at the top of my list. At twenty-three, I boarded a plane and flew straight into who knows what. Young, idealistic me was convinced I’d be back home in a year. Little did I know that plan would unravel quickly.
My twenties were a season of heartbreak—on levels that went far beyond romance. There were disappointments, identity shifts, existential crises, and hard lessons. And yet, in hindsight, I can see that God was using all of it. Even then, He was preparing me—not just for my future husband, but for the kind of woman I needed to become before loving someone well.
If I could sit across from my twenty-something self, this is what I would tell her about love:
Love comes unexpectedly
It really does.
Love has a way of showing up when your planner is full and your expectations are low. For me, it looked like falling in love with the guy who was outside his hometown and right in mine—at the exact moment I happened to be visiting.
If I had written that place off, ur assumed “there’s nothing there for me”…If I had stayed rigid in my timeline…I might have missed what God was orchestrating.
Moral of the story? Don’t dismiss a place, a season, or a situation just because it doesn’t fit your five-year plan. Love might already be there, quietly waiting for you.
Before love, there are lessons
Before I could steward love well, I had to confront parts of myself that weren’t ready for it.
In my case, the lessons were clear: humility, patience, and anger management.
Love doesn’t just reveal how deeply you can feel. It exposes how deeply you need to grow.
I had to learn how to apologize without defensiveness. How to forgive without resentment, and
how to disagree without raising my voice.
God cared more about shaping my character than granting my wishes.
And now I understand why.
Because love isn’t sustained by chemistry. It’s sustained by Christlike character.
If you’re in your twenties (or even beyond), and you feel like you’re in the “preparation” season, don’t rush it. Don’t treat it with disdain or try to skip it. The lessons you’re learning now are the foundation of the love you’ll build later. And the God who writes love stories? He’s never late.
“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not abandon the work of Your hands.” — Psalm 138:8
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