The burnout was real. Deadlines to complete, expectations to fulfill, duties to perform, and saying “no” was not an option. That was my life for many years.
However, during COVID-19 God revealed to me that He didn’t want that life for me.
There was a lie stuck in my head that went something like this: “I have to do enough for God, so He loves me.” I know this sounds wrong, but I was living my life based on that line.
We are all called to be leaders. Being a leader is wonderful, but it can also be tricky…especially if you want to do it right or perfectly as I did. Perfectionism takes our eyes away from the One who called us.
I thought I was disappointing God when “I didn’t do enough for Him”. But it was at that moment, all alone in my bedroom that I heard Him speak.
When I got sick with COVID-19, I was stressed out. I was and trying to complete a thousand things at once and my immune system was weak because of the stress.
As I was talking to God about my current situation, He told me:
“I love you more than the things you do for me.” I was in shock, I didn’t understand what He meant, and He said it again: “I love you MORE, than all the things you do for ME.”
In other words, I didn’t have to do anything for God to love me. He continued: “I need you to love yourself as much as I do. I want to see you healthy and happy. Yes, I love having you as a leader, but you can’t do that if you don’t take care of yourself.”
That is when I realized I was wrong, and something had to change. I was not making God happy through my actions as I thought I was. Yes, I needed to work for Him, but everything had to have a balance, even working for God.
He disagrees with burnout; even His son Jesus took moments to rest. You and I need to do that too.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
If you are experiencing burnout in your Christian life, take a moment to talk to God and reevaluate your life. If you need to make changes, speak to God about it. The changes I made in my life have been my best decision.
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